Can U Hear Me Now?
by Aviv b
Summary: Ianto and Jack are having communication problems. There friends try to help, with unexpected results.


**Written for Cotton Candy Bingo on Dreanwidth **Prompt: Communication Devices  
Rating: PG - for a little swearing and some innuendo

* * *

"I feel like we're not on the same wavelength anymore. Like we're drifting apart and I don't know how to stop it. Maybe he's lost interest."

Rhiannon nodded sympathetically, though she could hardly believe what she was hearing.

"Happens to the best of couples. You've been together a long time and you've forgotten that relationships take work. Now if there's one thing that's sure to let them know you care, it's treating them something they'd love but wouldn't spend the money on buying for themselves."

"That makes sense."

"Now go and get 'em lover-boy."

He looked at the box in confusion. What was this about? Then he remembered and smiled. After all these years, it was nice that someone remembered.

"So, how's my Ianto, today?" Jack asked Ianto as he brewed a fresh pot of coffee for the team.

"Same as always, Jack."

"Is that all you have to say?"

"Well yes…" And then he remembered. "Sorry, forgot about the box of chocolates. That was so nice."

Jack beamed. "Did you like them?"

"Well they were beautiful, but I'm not sure Myfanwy appreciated the fancy box and wrapping they came in, but she sure loved what was inside."

Jack's mouth fell open.

"What? She's very clever, I'll give you that, but I don't think she knows it's the 30th anniversary of when we found her." Ianto sighed. "All those years ago, we were young and, well you're still young, but I'm getting old. Back then, I would have loved a box of chocolate like that, but with my mild diabetes, I wouldn't dare."

Ianto noticed that Jack looked vaguely disappointed. "So on behalf of Myfanwy, thank you for the lovely and thoughtful gift," Ianto said and kissed Jack on the cheek.

"Uh, you're welcome," Jack replied and walked away.

_"Well, that went over well,"_ Jack mused.

"I forgot he was a diabetic, how thoughtless could I get."

"It's hard for us guys," Johnny agreed. "You were thinking about candy because Rhiannon told you to get him something special and women like candy. But that's not a good gift for a man. You know what every man likes."

Jack shook his head 'no.'

"Come on, take a wild guess."

Jack looked like a deer caught in headlights as his brain spun wildly, _"Lube...no, alien aphrodisiacs… no, 42__nd__ Century porn…"_

"A new suit!" Jack answered.

"You're daft Harkness, you really are. I would have expected you to say something shocking like a collection of pornographic postcards from the future, but a suit?"

Jack smiled through clenched teeth. "This is serious Johnny; my happiness is on the line here."

"Alright, if you want a man to know he's special you don't give them chocolate or flowers, you give them something electronic. A new tablet or phone, or maybe the latest game player."

"That's brilliant! I can't thank you enough," Jack told Johnny. "I know the perfect gift for Ianto."

"Yeah, what are you thinking of… never mind, it's probably a three-dimensional sex simulator, if I know you."

"Nothing like that, something much, much, better."

"Jack!" Ianto shouted from the kitchen.

Jack ran to the kitchen to see Ianto's reaction.

"Where the hell is our coffee maker? We've had that since shortly after I came to Torchwood Three. If that new kid you hired tossed it out, he's fired."

"But…"

"No buts about it, I'll fire him myself. The nerve of that young punk coming in here and thinking…"

"Stop! Not the young punk," Jack interrupted. "Me, it was me. I thought you'd like a new one. It's all automatic, you don't have to do anything but push a button. It steams milk, makes lattes with and without foam, much easier than the old machine."

Ianto rubbed his forehead. "I don't want a new coffee maker. I like the old machine."

"Sometimes it's good to try something new," Jack ventured.

"Is something wrong with the way I'm making coffee now? Am I losing my touch? Hell, I'm getting old, but I'm not senile yet," Ianto shouted. "Stop treating me like I'm an invalid."

"I'm sorry; I'll put the old one back."

"Humph."

"Wow, is that the new Elexa Supreme Coffee Barista?" Todd (the young punk) asked as he walked into the kitchen. "I want to get one of these, but they cost the world, don't they? Does everything for you, from making a cappuccino to a latte with and without foam. Todd ran his hand lovingly over the aluminum carafe. "What a beauty," he sighed.

Ianto looked at Jack, then Todd, and smiled. "You caught us. We were just testing it out. It's almost your three month anniversary and you've done such a stellar job that we thought we'd get you a nice thank you gift."

"You are the best, mates," Todd told Jack and Ianto. "Yeah, next to that new iPhone, there's nothing I've wanted more." Todd slapped Ianto on the back and gave Jack a hug.

"Amazing, how did they know_,"_ Todd mumbled as he strolled back to his desk.

"Yes, how did you know, Jack," Ianto echoed, his voice dripping in sarcasm. "For my three month anniversary, I got a four week suspension, not to mention a dead girlfriend. And now you tell me that it's good to try something new. Like Todd perhaps." He glared a final time at Jack and stormed out of the kitchen.

_"Bloody fantastic,"_ Jack thought as he slunk back to his office.

"The problem is obvious," Tosh told Jack over a beer. " Ianto is aging and you're not. He feels like you are losing interest in him, like he's not attractive to you anymore."

"But I'm still with him, I hardly ever flirt with anyone, and I've been totally faithful."

"He knows that, but he can't help but worry that someday your eye will wander. And that latest hire didn't help, you know."

"Who? You mean Gwen's cousin Todd? He's worried I'll leave him for Todd?" Jack couldn't believe it. "Todd was hired strictly as a favor to Gwen; she was tired of him sponging off her and Rhys ever since he showed up in Cardiff a year ago."

"And that's the problem. You hired a young, attractive man with no discernible skills that could be of any use to Torchwood and gave him Ianto's archiving work."

"But the archive is in perfect order. All he has to do is retrieve the occasional file. I can't put him in the field. If he got injured Gwen would kill me. And it's not like he's smart enough to do any real computer analysis." Jack looked at Tosh as the problem dawned on him.

"Oh, he's messing up the archives, is a general nuisance, and is flirty so Ianto thinks there must be another motive for me hiring him."

"You got it."

"Guess Todd is going to be getting a promotion to Torchwood House. He can make Archie's coffee with his new coffee station."

They sat silently as Jack looked at Tosh. "So what do I do about Ianto?"

"I thought you'd never ask," Tosh smiled. "Ianto wants to feel that you still find him attractive. Take him away for a weekend and pamper him."

"Perfect."

Tosh was surprised when she came in early on Monday to find Ianto already organizing the papers on Jack's desk.

"Did you have a nice weekend?" she asked.

"Honestly, no."

"Oh, why not? I thought you and Jack were going away for a romantic weekend."

"That's what I thought. But we no sooner get to the spa then I find out he has booked every possible service for me. The tummy tightener workout, the buns of steel peel, the non-surgical face lift, the body toning massage, and to top it off, the vegan calorie counter cuisine. And where was Jack during all this? Playing tennis with two models named Barbie and Bambi."

"I'm so sorry Ianto,"

"I've never felt so old in my whole life. After a long day of 'pampering' combined with practically starving, I had no energy to do anything in the evenings. Jack spent his evenings dancing at the retro disco with the lovely ladies. Some romantic weekend," Ianto said ruefully.

"Look, it doesn't have to be anything big. No grand gestures. Just let him know you care, yeah?" Owen told Jack. "Just dinner at home, some candles, and you know, some of whatever the two of you get up to."

"Not much of that getting up to for us lately," Jack glumly replied.

"You have to make time for romance."

"How do you and Tosh do that?"

"Like I said, you have to make time. Alien invasions notwithstanding, we have a date night once a week. No phone, no television, no interruptions, just a nice quiet dinner at home and then some, uh, après dinner activity."

"Okay, I think I can handle that."

They sat on the couch drinking coffee. It had been an exhausting week but Jack was determined to have a date night with Ianto. Ianto had suggested they postpone the dinner, but Jack was confident that he could cook Ianto a beautiful meal. Everything was perfect. The table was beautiful, and the candles shed a soft glow over the whole dining room.

"I have to admit the chicken was perfectly done, and the no-sugar dessert was fantastic. This was a lovely meal Jack," Ianto told him. "Thank you so much. I know you must be exhausted, gods know, I am."

"I have a second dessert for you."

"Well, you have my attention Mr. Harkness."

"I hope to have more than that in a few minutes," Jack told Ianto. "I'll be right back."

Jack went back into the dining room and he blew out the candles. Coming back into the lounge he called Ianto's name.

"I'll be back in a minute," Ianto shouted from the kitchen, "I just want to put a few things away."

Ianto cleared the table and loaded the dishwasher, then packed up the leftovers. He sat down at table to rest his feet for a moment. "_I'm beat. I really am getting old."_

Twenty minutes later Jack came looking for him.

"Zzzzzzzz."

"Ianto?"

"Zzzzzzzzz."

Ianto's head was on the kitchen table as he snored softly. Jack woke Ianto and helped him get ready for bed.

"Jack, I don't mind you cooking, but I'm way too tired to clean up afterwards. I don't know what you were thinking, but let's just order take away next time."

As Ianto slept, Jack was wide awake next to him. Nothing was working out the way he hoped.

It was another Sunday dinner at the Davies. Ianto had a head cold and had been moody all week. Jack was worried about Ianto's health as well as his inability to show Ianto how much he meant to him.

While Rhiannon fussed over Ianto, Jack took David's daughter Rose to do some last minute shopping for University. Rose adored shopping with Uncle Jack as he had excellent taste in clothes, expensive taste in gadgets and generally ended up paying for everything. Today, however, Rose could tell Jack's heart wasn't in it. He smiled and nodded when she showed him her intended purchases, but the usual banter and teasing was absent.

"So what do you think of this one?" Rose said holding up a gorgeous royal blue tea dress.

"Nice, let's get it."

Now Rose was sure something was wrong. "What's the matter, Uncle Jack? You seem, I don't know, quiet today, sort of depressed."

Jack sighed. "Just having a rough patch with work and stuff, it's nothing."

Rose was not convinced. "I'm not stupid, I can tell something's wrong between and Uncle Ianto; you aren't getting divorced are you?"

Jack's head shot up in alarm. "Divorce, who said anything about a divorce? Did Ianto say anything…"

"Hold on, Uncle Ianto's not said a word about a divorce. In fact he's hardly said a word all day. I know he doesn't feel well, but both of you just aren't yourselves."

"Grownup problems."

"I see. Too grownup to tell me about?"

"No, it's not that, it's just that I've tried everyone's advice and nothing has worked."

"Try me," Rose said. "It's not like I don't know the big secret."

Rose had long ago realized that while her Uncle Ianto was aging, Uncle Jack was not. She wasn't sure she believed that Jack was from the future, but he obviously had some kind of enhanced physiology that had him aging at a much slower rate than normal.

To his astonishment, once he started telling Rose about his relationship with Ianto, Jack couldn't stop. All the anxiety of the past several months poured out of him while Rose listened intently.

"But have you ever told him, Uncle Jack."

"Well not in so many words, but…"

"Well then do it. And don't look at me like I've asked you to save planet Earth. It only seems hard because you've waited so long. Don't wait until it's too late."

When they arrived home after Sunday dinner, Jack finally confronted Ianto.

"I have something important to tell you."

_"Oh no, he's going to leave me, it had to happen, but why now."_

"Ianto Jones, I want you to know that you, uh, mean a lot to me."

_"But I'm getting old and you are no longer attracted to me," _Ianto surmised_._

"Well that's what I wanted to tell you," Jack said sheepishly.

"That's it," Ianto asked as he began to get ready for bed.

"Well, it's more than that, I want you to know that you mean the world to me," Jack confessed.

Ianto smiled sadly, "That's very sweet, but are you sure there isn't something more you want to tell me?" Ianto braced himself for the worst.

"No, not really…" Jack said. And then he remembered Rose's warning, 'don't wait until it's too late.'

"I love you Ianto Jones."

"What?"

Jack took a deep breath. "I love you Ianto Jones. I love you more than the sun and the moon and the stars. I love you more than a hundred Todds, two hundred Gwens and a thousand Doctors."

"That much?"

"More!" Jack shouted. "I love you more than that."

"So what took you so long," Ianto replied. "Thirty years, must be an intergalactic record."

"I didn't have the words to tell you how much I love you, that's why I never told you before. Not because you aren't enough, not because you're getting old, only because I've never felt this way about anyone before. And if this goes on, I'll lose you. Lose you before I have to, and I don't want that."

"I love you too Jack."

"And I'm going to tell you I love you every day for the rest of our lives together," Jack said pulling Ianto into an embrace. "I love everything about you, from your grey hair to your smile lines to your slightly increased waistline," Jack said kissing Ianto deeply. "And I intend to show you how much I love you right now."

"Well, what are you waiting for," Ianto said as he winked at Jack and turned off the bedroom lights. "Just one thing Jack, no grand gestures. Other than the one I'm holding right now."

For the first time in months Jack and Ianto laughed.

"I told him no grand gestures," Ianto muttered.

"Oi, look at him blushing," Rhys told Johnny.

A few months after his talk with Rose, Jack managed to obtain three prime seats for the 2040 British and Irish Cup finals. Cardiff had made the finals for the first time in over twenty years and was facing a very tough Bristol team. Jack had insisted that Ianto take Rhys and Johnny, pointing out that he really wasn't a big rugby fan. He did not point out that there was a fair chance that Ianto would have throttled him had he been present.

During the half time at Bristol Stadium, a small plane flew over several times trailing a banner. The banner read, "I love you Jones, Ianto Jones. Forever, CJH." The crowd hooted and speculated on the identity of CJH.

"Desperate football widow, trying to distract her man from the game," someone behind Johnny said.

"Catherine Hepburn?" someone wondered.

"Idjit, she's been dead for years," his mate answered.

Ianto knew he'd never hear the end of this from Rhys and Johnny. "I'm going to kill him when I get home," he told the others. "And if either of you tells anyone, I'll kill you as well."

Johnny laughed. "Not a chance. If Rhi hears about this, she'll be expecting me to up my game come her birthday, and dinner at Bella Italia is as posh as I get."

"You take my sister to a chain restaurant for her birthday?" Ianto asked, trying not to sound to judgmental.

"Oi, it's a good chain restaurant and she likes it. Not all of us have such hoity-toity tastes you know. And not all of us would be sending airplanes to tell our spouses how we felt about them."

"He's got you there," Rhys said, trying not to laugh. "Now Gwen, she'd want me to top this. I'd never hear the end of it."

Adopting a falsetto voice, Rhys continued, "Well Ianto got a plane with a banner, so the least I could get is the Goodyear Blimp saying you loved me."

"She would not," Ianto said laughing.

"Yeah, that time Jack and you went to that spa, I heard about it for a month. How romantic it was, how Jack treated you to every service available, how much planning he put into the perfect weekend."

"Cor, if Rhi heard about that, she'd want a spa weekend as well, with everything you got plus a bikini wax, one of those fancy Brazilian ones." Johnny said. "You didn't have a bikini wax, did you?" he added after seeing the horrified look on Ianto's face.

"Hell no! It's just that's my sister you're talking about. Somehow I never imagined my sister and Brazilian waxing would be used in the same sentence."

"You'd be surprised about a lot of things your sister …"

"Johnny," Ianto growled, "shut it and watch the game."

"Don't poke the bear," Rhys warned Johnny. "He and Jack like to think they're the only ones who are innovative."

"Yeah, and advant garde. Little do they know."

The three men watched the second half of the game but only two were paying attention.

"_All those things he did that I thought were making fun of my age, he did because he loves me. He wanted me to be happy and I spent the last year angry and disagreeable because I'm the one who can't deal with growing old."_

The game was close but Ianto spent most of the second half texting on his phone. He did manage to look up just when Bristol scored the winning goal. The game ended and the three men began the long drive home.

"You seem very cheery for a man whose team just lost the semifinals," Rhys remarked as he looked over at Ianto sitting in the front passenger seat, a small smile on his face.

"What? It's been a nice day. An exciting rugby match, even if we did lose, and a plane flying overhead with Jack declaring his love for me, even if it did embarrass the hell out of me."

They listened to Johnny snoring in the back of the car for a moment.

"And my brother-in-law treats me to the image of my sister with a Brazilian wax."

Rhys laughed.

"Go ahead and laugh. I don't think there's enough brain bleach in Wales to erase that image from my mind."

"Doesn't take much to make you happy, does it?"

"More than it should have, less than it will," Ianto replied.

"I haven't a clue of what you're on about," Rhys said switching on the radio.

_"No, I didn't think you would. But now that Jack and I are on the same wavelength, everything is going to be fine."_

**Jack & Ianto's texts:**

U r insane. I cant b-lieve u had Q fly over.

_LOL. Got u! Embarassed?_

2 cool to b. Ok, yeah.

_Will u spank me when u get home?_

May b.

_Puleez?_

Only if u take me on another spa trip

_U sure? Didn't think you liked._

Did, but I get to pick services.

_Like?_

Brazilian bikini wax.

_WAT?_

LOL, got u. Games ending, gotta go.

_u 2!_

" !


End file.
